January ’23 Roundup & Ramblings

~ Bookstooge

Raw Data:

Novels 13 ⭤

Short Stories 0 ⭤

Manga/Graphic Novels 2 ⭤

Comics 3 ⭤

Average Rating 3.19 ⭤

Pages 3238 ⭤

Words 1002K ⭤

The Bad:

Cat Magic – 2stars of cult programming masquerading

Bone #16 – 2stars of complete and utter filler

The Good:

Santiago – 5stars of re-read goodness

James and the Giant Peach – 5stars of just the right book hitting at the exact perfect moment.

Miscellaneous Posts:

Personal:

January has been one of the worst we’ve had in about a decade. Even worse than last year’s January when we both got covid and had to go to the hospital via ambulance.

I got a light case of food poisoning between Christmas and New Years. On New Years, Mrs B had the start of a crohn’s flair up that turned into the worst one she’s had in 10 years. Then she got vasculitus and we’re still dealing with that. Urgent Care visits, ER visits, dr visits, specialists being as unhelpful as possible, it all came together to make life as close to a living hell as we could imagine. While Mrs B is doing better now and her primary care doctor has started her down the right path of specialists to see and taken care of getting her out of work, Mrs B still has a good way to go before she’s healthy again. This has obviously been preying on my mind the entire month.

Also, Mrs B takes a monthly injection and her specialist has completely dropped the ball on getting the authorizations for that. Thankfully, since I am me, and expect the worst of everyone and every situation, I had prepared for just such an eventuality. But it means the safety cushion is now gone so I have to start building it back up again.

Outside of work, I pretty much retreated into our condo and outside of church, had zero social time in real life. I’m still pretty raw emotionally right now and it doesn’t take much to hurt me, hence the limited real life social thing. There’s no need to take it out on other people who are just asking an innocent question.

What this whole time has also shown me is that when I am in the middle of a situation, I have ultra-mega-tunnel vision. I can’t trust myself to look at the big picture or to think properly. Not being able to trust myself is very unpleasant and for an introvert like myself, extremely unsettling.

Because I’ve been so unsettled, my writing has gone up about 10,000%. I figured I was going to have many days in January where I had no posts and was kind of looking forward to doing nothing. But when I stress, I write. So I wrote every day here on the blog and actually already have half of February taken care of too. My personal journal writing became a daily thing instead of a weekly thing. The Cervantes Journal I showcased in November? I’m already 2/3rds of the way through it. It used to take me a year to go through one of those. I’ve also been reading my journal from my junior year in Bibleschool and I hope to be talking about that sometime in March. It’s slow going because as emotional as I am now, I was a daily rollercoaster of ups and downs in my 20’s. It’s making my Freshman Journal look pretty even-keeled!

Multiple rain and snow storms have also meant work has been unsettled and so it feels like every aspect of our lives is in turmoil right now. All small stuff, you know, but like I said, tunnel vision makes it hard to get perspective. Even with church I am dealing with some interpersonal stuff, which while not bad, is just one more thing that makes me go “Oh come on, I do not need to deal with this right now”.

I am tired and am not sure when I’ll get to stop being tired. And so as you can see, the words just spew out like a raging torrent.

Plans for Next Month:

Pretty much exactly like this month. No movie, can’t handle it at the moment (not that I’m not watching stuff. I’m actually watching quite a bit more to try to turn my brain off). So Magic Mondays, books, manga’s and comics, some more of the PCP (Project Christmas Present) and if I get really words’y, probably some silly double posting just to vent and get it all out.

45 thoughts on “January ’23 Roundup & Ramblings”

  2. Aw Booky! Am sorry to hear about Lady B’s ongoing health problems, hope it all resolves soon and she’s back in tip-top form. At least you can get all the angst off your chest in your beautiful journals and your blog posts. January is always the worst month to get through, tomorrow we’ll be over that hump and into a fun filled February! Fingers crossed!

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  5. You and Mrs B are in our thoughts Stooge. I have no idea what those illnesses are and do not expect you to explain them. It does suck to start the year sick. I know last year in Jan Milou and I also got sick and my health in general went out the window.

    I hope February will be kinder too you

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  8. Trying to look on the “bright side,” hopefully the worst is over for you both and the rest of the year will be a lot better than its beginning. Things can only get better, right?!🙏Best wishes to you both!

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  11. Oooof, I’m sorry you guys had such a crappy month! I am glad Mrs. B is on the mend. In regards to prior authorizations on her medication, see if you can get either the doctor or the insurance company to tell you the end date of the authorization when they get it (usually six months to a year later). That way, if no one else is on top of it, you can remind the doctor before it expires so they can get in gear before it becomes a problem again. (Only rarely does anyone tell the pharmacy exactly when the PA will expire but when I do get one, I scan it on the patient’s profile so I have record of it.)
    I can’t watch anything serious either when I’m not doing good mentally. I usually put either cartoons or sitcoms on. Something that takes very little brain power to follow along. I hope February treats you both better!

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  13. Oh no, sorry t ohear that! I hope you’re both feeling better soon. I have a friend whose wife has Crohn’s. Wishing Mrs. B relief soon.

    Apparently I’ve been missing your Magic posts, which is a bummer since I enjoy looking back att hose old cards. I’ll have to be better about visiting.

    Take care of yourselves. 🙂

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  14. I’m sorry you both had such a lousy month! Hope Mrs Bookstooge and you get better soon and get back to normal! I’d offer a virtual hug, but you’d probably not appreciate it too much at the moment 😉 so instead – best wishes to you both, and a speedy recovery!

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  15. Yikes!!! Hopefully the new month is kinder.
    Interesting, thing, I write less when I am stressed its as if my brain shuts down and cant process…. but afterwards when I am settled thats when I write a lot lot fuelled by all the things I was unable to write before, like a dam bursting.

    Cheers to the new month to you and Mrs B
    ~B

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  16. Just wanted to express my sympathy. I’m not sure if I can write much more, in the light of the pain and stress you and your wife must experience, me writing too much here feels a bit vapid. Anyhow, know that when I read your post, I truly felt bad for you both. I hope things will become better, and I hope you’ll find the strength to endure. Love can be a burden at times, but I’m pretty sure your love is strong, and a source of strength in itself.

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    1. I know what you mean about writing seeming vapid. Whenever someone else is having some big issues, I always wonder if I should even write anything. But I can say, people expressing sympathy means a lot.

      So thank you…

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  17. Sorry to hear about your dreadful start to the year. I hope Mrs B is on the mend as speedily as possible.

    Best thing to do is to take some Stooge time. And it certainly sounds like you’re doing that by retreating into your home.

    Hope things pick up for you and yours soon

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    1. Thanks Nancy.
      She got crohns a couple of years after we got married and it was a harrowing time. We didn’t have insurance and my job was on the rocks due to the economy, so it was bad.
      At least now she has a medical history, we have insurance and both of our jobs and employers understand.
      I think the emotional toll is what gets me the most. The hourly and daily rollercoaster…

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      1. My husband was diagnosed more than 50 years ago, before they called it Crohn’s and when they took out your intestines and prescribed narcotics and a diet of milk products. My husband gave up on doctors after one told him to take as much of the drug as he needed. Eventually, he found what usually works for him. But there are still those flare-ups. I completely understand about the roller coaster. It was really hard on both of us for a long time. And it still is sometimes, but at least now I understand better what is going on. You and your wife will be in my thoughts and prayers. It is a tough road.

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  19. I’m so sorry to hear the month of January has been so rough on you and Mrs. B. Health comes first so I hope you guys can get that squared away so that the rest of life can improve and I wish Mrs. B a speedy recovery. Please take care, and if writing is what you need then by all means do more of it! I don’t always comment but I do read all your blog posts and I am glad you are getting some catharsis out of the act of writing.

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    1. I am definitely going to be writing, here and on paper. I wrote 100 pages in my journal during January and I suspect February is going to follow the same course :-/

      Thanks Mogsy. And thank you for letting me know you read the posts. As odd as it may sound, knowing there are people reading my words helps…

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        1. She’s on the mend and the rheumatologist said everything was because of the vasculitis. So it wasn’t even a crohn’s flare up at all. sigh. But now she’s on their radar and her primary care dr knows the situation, so we shouldn’t have to repeat the circus experience we had in January…

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