Shrek the Third (2007 Movie)

IMDB states:
“Reluctantly designated as the heir to the land of Far, Far Away, Shrek hatches a plan to install the rebellious Artie as the new king while Princess Fiona tries to fend off a coup d’état by the jilted Prince Charming.”

What they forget to mention is that Artie is Arthur Pendragon, Fiona is pregnant and Shrek is having a real problem coming to grips with his approaching fatherhood. The coup by Prince Charming is rolled back as easily as it happened and the movie ends with Fiona and Shrek having triplets.

Prince Charming as the villain is more of a joke, which is ok for a kids movie, but once again, there are lines here and there and references that I wouldn’t want a kid of mine hearing or seeing. The crassness levels are toned down. There is one scene though where Shrek and Fiona are all dressed up like French Royalty and Shrek has an itch on his bum. So he gets a flute player to scratch his bum and of course that is when the curtain rises and the entire assembly sees it. I laughed so hard.

The whole King Arthur storyline pushed the interactions between Donkey, Shrek and Puss n Boots to the side and the writers really didn’t come out shining. His story arc was predictably shallow and “emotional” and then wham, done. On the plus side, there is a scene where Shrek is trying to “relate” to Artie and talks like some sort of 60’s hippy teen on weed. Once again, that was gold! But one scene isn’t enough to carry a whole movie for character interaction.

This is step down from Shrek 2 and while I still enjoyed it, I think it definitely entered into stupid territory instead of clever territory. I could feel the steam running out of the franchise.

Shrek 2 (2004 Movie)

This was a direct sequel to Shrek and was released in 2004. All the excruciating details are under the details code at the end.

I enjoyed this movie a lot. While it is a bit shallower in terms of storyline, it is vastly more amusing (in my opinion) as the parody of other movies really ramps up.

My favorite scene is when a group of the fairytale creatures are rescuing Shrek, Donkey and Puss-n-Boots and Pinocchio goes wire diving to the Mission Impossible music just like Tom Cruise did in the original MI movie. Of course, this being a Shrek movie, he gets all tangled up and tied at the end. So he has to lie so Gingie the gingerbread man can run along his nose to unlock Shrek. The whole scene just keeps me in stitches even after having watched it uncounted times. Ahhh, good times.

The whole thrust of the movie about accepting your family and yourself was laid on with a thick stick, but really, I didn’t mind it as I didn’t feel like it was thrust down my throat at every turn, unlike some movies today.

The introduction of Prince Charming as the vain and self-centered jerk was perfect. He was good enough that he’ll be in the next film as the main villain in fact.

Newlyweds Shrek and Princess Fiona return from their honeymoon to find they have been invited by Fiona’s parents to a royal ball to celebrate their marriage. Shrek initially refuses to attend, but Fiona convinces him, and along with Donkey, they travel to the kingdom of Far Far Away. They meet Fiona’s parents, King Harold and Queen Lillian, who are shocked to see the ogres, with Harold particularly repulsed. At dinner, Shrek and Harold get into a heated argument, and Fiona, disgusted at their behavior, locks herself away in her room. Shrek worries that he is losing Fiona, particularly after finding her childhood diary and reading that she was once infatuated with Prince Charming.

Harold is secretly reprimanded by the Fairy Godmother, as her son, Prince Charming, was to marry Fiona in exchange for Harold’s own happy ending. She orders him to get rid of Shrek, so Harold arranges for Puss in Boots to assassinate him under the guise of a hunting trip. Unable to defeat Shrek, Puss reveals that he was paid by Harold and offers to be an ally. Shrek, Donkey, and Puss sneak into the Fairy Godmother’s factory and steal a “Happily Ever After” potion that Shrek thinks will make him good enough for Fiona. Shrek and Donkey both drink the potion but nothing happens. Shrek laments before he and Donkey both suddenly fall asleep. Meanwhile, in Far Far Away, Fiona prepares to find Shrek so they can return home, but she too falls asleep.

The following morning, the potion transforms Shrek and Fiona into humans, and Donkey into a white stallion. In order to make the change permanent, Shrek must kiss Fiona by midnight. Shrek, Donkey, and Puss return to the castle. However, the Fairy Godmother, having discovered the theft, has sent Charming to pose as Shrek and win Fiona’s love. At the Fairy Godmother’s urging, Shrek leaves the castle, believing that the best way to make Fiona happy is to let her go.

Fiona does not reciprocate Charming’s advances, so to ensure she falls in love with Charming, the Fairy Godmother gives Harold a love potion to put into Fiona’s tea. This exchange is overheard by Shrek, Donkey, and Puss, who are arrested by the royal knights after Donkey inadvertently exposes them. While the royal ball begins, friendly fairy-tale creatures rescue the trio from jail, and they storm the castle with the help of a monstrous living gingerbread man created by the Muffin Man.

Shrek fails to prevent Charming from kissing Fiona, but instead of falling in love, Fiona knocks him out; Harold reveals that he swapped Fiona’s tea that has the love potion with another tea. The now-enraged Fairy Godmother tries to kill Shrek with her magic wand, but Harold jumps in front of it; the spell ricochets off his armor and disintegrates her. With the Fairy Godmother gone, Harold reverts into the Frog Prince. Harold apologizes, admitting to using the “Happily Ever After” potion years earlier to gain Lillian’s love, and approves Shrek and Fiona’s marriage. Lillian assures Harold that she still loves him. As the clock strikes midnight, Fiona rejects Shrek’s offer to remain human, and they revert into ogres, while Donkey also returns to normal. In the mid-credits scene, Dragon, who had previously married Donkey, reveals that they now have several dragon-donkey hybrid babies.

Shrek (2001 Movie)

Shrek was released in 2001 by Dreamworks Studios. Featuring the voice talents of such big names as Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and John Lithgow, it follows the adventures of the ogre Shrek as he ends up rescuing Princess Fiona and in the process falls in love with her and breaks the curse that kept her in the dragon guarded castle. It’s not as easy as it sounds, as Ogres just don’t marry Princesses and Prince Farquad has some rather short thoughts on the matter.

The entire thrust of this movie is turning Fairytale Tropes on their heads. And mixing in a lot of anachronistic ideas, words and music. And it works beautifully. I laughed my head off.

But for many years I avoided this movie assiduously. Shrek is an ogre and as such, is just plain gross when it comes to bodily humor. He farts in his mud baths, pulls enough wax out of his ears to create a candle, belches at the drop of a hat and just generally is disgusting. I didn’t want that. But one day I watched it and I was sold, lock, stock and barrel.

Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy, as Shrek and Donkey, are the perfect comedy duo. Donkey is a talking donkey that just won’t shut up and boy, the writers did a great job in giving him his dialogue. Myers on the other hand, is a great one for one liners, quips and references to other movies at the time. The Matrix is referenced, as is Babe: Pig in the City. I’m sure there are a LOT more that cineastes would catch.

While this is an animated film, there are too many crass parts, too many innuendos and too many adult humor bits for me to say this is fine for kids. I know it is rated G but no way is it suited for General Audiences.

They don’t write movies like this any more. They weren’t just trying to tell a trope breaking comedy, but an actual story with a beginning, middle and end. While there was a message about not judging people on their appearances or without getting to know them, it never overwhelmed the story and was actually incorporated into things so it didn’t come across as ham handed virtue signaling that makes you want to puke your guts up like in a lot of recent movies.

This was probably my 7th or 8th time watching this and I still laughed my head off, enjoyed every second and thought it was still great. I don’t know that it will strike everyone the same way, or be as re-watchable, but for me, this movie has entered into Classic territory and I plan on watching this many more times over the coming years.

Event Horizon (1997 Movie)

Event Horizon is a 1997 Space Horror movie directed by Paul Anderson, who later went on to direct many of the Resident Evil movies.

I really like this movie. If you had told me beforehand that I’d like a space horror movie that involves a possessed spaceship that kills it crew, well, I’d probably have looked at you funny and suggest you get your head checked.

The basic story is that in 2040 the Event Horizon, utilizing a new gravity drive to break the speed of light, disappears with all crew. The movie starts 7 years later when it mysteriously re-appears. A rescue ship is sent with a small crew to find out what happened. Along with them is Dr Weir, the creator of the gravity drive. They get to the ship, it’s abandoned but something is on board and begins killing them. Dr Weir gives in to be with what appears to be his dead wife and only 3 members of the rescue crew survive and make it back to earth. The Event Horizon goes back to the alternate dimension of hell that it came from.

On this rewatch, I realized that part of the reason I like this so much is because there are little flashes from the hell dimension that remind me of the cenobytes from Hellraiser, another horror movie that surprised me by how much I liked it. Nothing big mind you, just these very quick, almost too fast to process, images of the former crew and the current crew, going through tortures with chains and spikes, etc.

Of course, being a horror movie, there are some really stupid, illogical parts that you have to turn your brain off for. First and foremost, how does the entire scientific world forget the latin language in 50 years? The last message from the Event Horizon has the captain saying something in latin but no one on Earth recognizes it? Secondly, most of the crew do not act like seasoned space rescue operators. They act like the jomokes down at the local Cumberland Farms who hang out in the parking lot smoking weed, thus turning themselves into dumb as bricks idiots.

On the plus side, Sam Neal as Dr Weir, going off the deep end, is fantastic. He has guilt about his wife committing suicide way back when because he chose work over her and how the entity mimics her is a joy to behold. His unravelling is superb, as he’s a jerk to begin with. Laurence Fishburne is the captain of the rescue ship and he’s appropriately hard nosed yet caring.

The only part I wish had been different would have been the ending. 3 of the crew survive and are rescued. One of them thinks the rescuers are the possessed Dr Weir and has a break down but the movie ends very clearly with them having escaped. What I would have appreciated is a scene showing them still on the Event Horizon, living their rescue over and over and it failing each time. THAT would have been much more inline with the tone of the movie.

Man, can you believe I am suggesting a worse ending instead of a happier one? Surprises me too! I guess that plays a part in why I like the movie so much.

A Muppet Retrospective

Back in December of 2020 I watched and reviewed The Muppet Christmas Carol. That one lone act sent me down a path that has taken me 2 years to complete. Last month I wrapped up my Muppet Journey of Discovery with Muppets Haunted Mansion. Now I want to talk about the journey as a whole instead of piecemeal like I did for each movie or television season.

Overall, this was some of the best entertainment that I have had in decades. While not every movie or episode landed, the good so far outweighed the mediocre or bad that I think of the journey as Bookstooge’s Totally Excellent Journey. Jim Henson had an idea, ran with it until he felt he had reached the top and then stopped. People should be left wanting more, AND NOT GET IT. Learning to control your desires and to put up limits on them is good for us. It is what we have not done and look at the mess our entertainment is in today. Hollywood can’t (or won’t) even tell a good story nowadays because of excess and mental gluttony. I think the Muppets were a counter to that and each try to revive the show proved that Henson was correct. Not that some of the stuff that came later was total garbage, some of it was quite good, but we as viewers would have been better people without it.

I don’t want to wax too philosophical here, OR anti-cinema/movie, because either of those issues is an easy rut for me to slide into and I tend to repeat my main points over and over again as comments in various places, so no need to repeat it here. But when the aliens come and abduct all the cinemas, you won’t see me mounting a rescue mission to get them back, jus’ sayin’. But I will sit back and debate with you if the aliens had the moral right to take the cinemas or not. So grab that rocking chair, because we’ll be sitting on that porch a long time! (and bring your megaphone, I’m tired of those kids ignoring me when I yell at them to get off of my lawn)

Out of everything I watched, I suspect that the original Muppet Show itself (all 5 seasons) will be the only thing I try to rewatch every 5-10 years. I’m running out of words very quickly for this but some of that is because these are movie and tv related instead of a series of books. I have a very hard time explaining what goes on inside me for that aspect of entertainment. I don’t even know why, as you’d think that it would be almost the same as talking about how a book affects me. But nope. I actually thought about scrapping this post half way through but figured it would be easier to finish it up than to try to start something new and stumble all over that. And I haven’t even hit the 500 word mark yet. Aye yi yi.

If you want some good entertainment, watch the original Muppet tv show. If you’re hooked, then check everything else out.

Muppets Haunted Mansion (2021 Movie)

In 2021 Disney released another pseudopod of the Muppet Franchise out into the world of streaming. At just under 50 minutes, Haunted Mansion had the unenviable job of trying to get and keep people’s attention AND tell a good Muppet story.

Gonzo and Pepe the king prawn visit the Haunted Mansion (based on Disney’s ride in Disneyworld) and they have to survive the night or be stuck forever in the mansion. Gonzo powers through with the power of friendship, blah, blah, blah, happy ending. The rest of the Muppets are sidelined at a halloween party, so while a few muppets make appearances as ghosts, this was no where near filled to the brim with Muppet Goodness like the original movie.

Thankfully, this was MUCH better than Muppets from Space, where Gonzo was the main character too. I laughed out loud several times and overall had a fun filled time. Besides Will Arnett, I didn’t recognize a single actor making a cameo though. I’m guessing they all were tied to Disney’s apron strings in one way or another though. Which would explain why I didn’t recognize them.

When I saw it was going to be only 50minutes I wondered if it was going to be too short. It was just the right length for the story they had though. Any more and the holes and thinness would have shown. Once again though, it is very evident that Disney just doesn’t know how to handle the Muppets. Some things really stuck their landing while other bits fell completely flat.

Overall, I was pretty pleased with this and if it ever comes out on disc I’ll probably buy it before Disney disappears it like they tend to do. But first, they have to actually release it on disc. That’s by no means a given here. Definitely more kid oriented than the previous 2 movies (The Muppets and The Muppets Most Wanted) but still good enough for a dedicated Muppet fan.

Muppets Most Wanted (2014 Movie)

This was a direct sequel to The Muppets (2011 Movie) and by direct sequel I mean this picks up at the last scene of that movie. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about this until 2 things happened. First, Ricky Gervais showed up as “Dom Badguy”, so I knew I was going to appreciate the humor (how can you not love it when one of the dumb badguys is named such?). Secondly, Sam the Eagle, as a CIA agent, has a badge measuring scene with an Interpol Agent (played by Ty Burrel, whoever he is) and THAT’S when I knew this movie was for me.

The gist of the movie is that Kermit gets replaced by his evil duplicate and nobody notices except Animal, Fozzie and Walter (the new muppet introduced in the previous movie). Bad Kermit has plans to steal the Crown Jewels and uses the Muppets and only Kermit can stop him.

I loved this movie. I am not usually a fan of Ricky Gervais, but once again what made the difference is that he really played like he was acting with others in the scenes with the muppets. I think the biggest issue with Muppet movies is getting actors who can simply accept, and thus show by tone and body language, that the muppets are other legitimate actors in front of the camera. He played up his own strengths but at the same time didn’t feel like he was stealing any scenes for himself. Much like Michael Caine in Muppet Treasure Island, Gervais enhanced the scenes he was in.

The pure zaniness was back. Whoever wrote this, they seemed to understand the kind of humor that Jim Henson had captured in the original Muppets. It was whacky, it was silly, it was zany and it most important of all, it worked. I will be buying this and its prequel on bluray sometime by years end. This deserves a spot on the Muppet Shelf.

The only downside to this movie is that it is pretty essential to have watched the previous movie to understand everything clearly. Other than that, I highly recommend this Muppet movie.

The Muppets (2011 Movie)

Disney attempts to cash in on the Muppet Franchise and reboots it. There are a lot of call back scenes to the Original Muppet Movie and there is a LOT of group singing and dancing. That cover feels pretty accurate in conveying the tone of the movie.

I enjoyed this movie more than some of the other Muppet stuff but this time I felt that it would have been ok if the Muppets had been left in the past. There were some great comedic schticks (the scenes where Jack Black is tied up on stage and is involuntarily having a comedy duo routine with Fozzy was absolutely priceless) but Disney’s fingerprints were all over this and they were very smudgy and jelly’ish fingerprints, not at all unobtrusive or subtle.

Unlike the Muppets Wizard of Oz, I found the interaction between the humans and the Muppets to be quite believable and once again the Muppets were as much stars as the human cast. That’s how it should be.

I’m going to keep on watching the Muppet oeuvre until the end but it is now completely apparent to me that without Jim Henson’s direct hand, the Muppets aren’t quite all that. Henson made the correct decision to end the tv show on a high point and this continuation of the franchise shows the wisdom of his decision. While fans clamor for more Muppets, they should have trusted Henson’s decision. While Disney is a big fat target for my dislike (what they have done to my beloved Star Wars is unconscionable), fans are as much to blame.

I’d only recommend this to hardcore Muppet Completionists.

The Muppets Wizard of Oz (2005 Movie)

In my April ’22 Roundup & Ramblings post I mentioned that I’d heard this was a really bad Muppet’s movie, possibly the worst ever. After the struggle it was to write the Sherlock Posts I felt it would be a relief to really dig into something and eviscerate it mercilessly.

Unfortunately, this didn’t turn out to be THAT kind of bad movie. This was exactly in the same vein as Muppets from Space, ie, childish, stupid and not one whit funny. But this was even more vanilla and even more boring than From Space. From Space at least had a few laughs. Wizard of Oz? I don’t think I cracked a smile even once.

Ashanti, playing Dorothy Gale, had ZERO chemistry with the muppets. This was the first movie where every single original Muppeteer was gone (as far as I can tell), so that might have played a part, but it was evident that Ashanti was used to being the center of attention and to diminish that by allowing the Muppets to be the stars was more than she could handle.

There were things that SHOULD have been funny. Miss Piggy as the 4 Witches, each with their own costume and personality, well, it should have been funny. It wasn’t. Like I noted before though, nothing was outright bad. It was just boring as all get out. I usually watch these movies 2-3 times to make sure I’m not missing anything (I watch it the first time to just enjoy it. The second time to get ideas about reviewing and a 3rd if I need clarification on something). With this one, I watched it once and said “good enough” because any more would be interrogating myself enhancedly! and as I’m a bona fida genuina Americhino Citizen, we simply can not have that.

I would only recommend this to a Muppet Completionist. Every one else? Go watch something else, ANYTHING else. If I may make a suggestion? Go watch Tron. Broaden your lumpy modern mind with something classic and good.

Dune: Part 1 (2021 Movie)

Oh man. What a movie! When this was being produced and talked about, I had my reservations. The gender change for Dr Kynes smacked of pure woke bullshit. The “Part I” let us all know it wasn’t a complete movie and that was worrisome as well. As an avid fan of the Novel by Frank Herbert (having reviewed it 3 times since 2011), I do consider myself a bit of a snob when it comes to Dune.

Thankfully, I follow a couple of people who reviewed Dune Part 1 when it hit the cinemas back in October. Those reviews relieved all my fears and actually got me excited to watch it. I pre-ordered the blu-ray as soon as it was possible and it was released January 11. Because I’m a member of prime, I got it that day. Since then, I’ve watched it 3 times plus all the “extras”.

Let’s deal with the “problems”. Kynes being changed to a woman didn’t matter because they completely neutered the character’s impact on the story. In the novel Liet Kynes is not only the Royal Ecologist for the Emperor, but is also the de facto leader of the fremen, leading their secret ecological fight to transform Dune into a watery paradise. In the movie, Kynes helps Paul and Jessica escape and then is killed by Sardakar almost by accident. It was laughable, in a pathetic way. I “almost” felt bad for the woman playing Kynes but not that much and she was just such a non-entity that the change didn’t bother me like I thought it would. The other issue of this being Part One has already been resolved as this was such a success that Part Two is a green lit.

This follows the first half of the book and ends where Paul and Jessica head out into fremen society. As such, this was a real setup movie with lots of introductions to the universe. I thought they did a good job and kept it interesting with the whole Harkonnen / Atreides feud. I also liked just about every casting choice except for Lady Jessica. As minor as it may seem, her hair wasn’t red enough for me. I know my mental picture has been influenced, greatly, by the SyFy (that’s syphilis to the uninitiated) Channel’s miniseries in the early 2000’s. That is a very minor complaint though, so I’m not sure I can even really call it a complaint.

Saskia Reeves was a wonderful Lady Jessica from the tv mini-series

One thing I did miss was the dinner scene soon after the Atreides take control of Dune. It is very memorable and informs the reader/viewer about a lot of the political scenes going on. I didn’t miss it on the first watch but on the second and third I realized it was missing and did feel it rather keenly.

The musical score was absolutely top notch. I felt like Hans Zimmer watched the finished movie and then wrote this weird, throat singing, chanting, atonal sound track that fit the barbarity of the desert of Dune and political fighting and betrayals that occur. I thought the music fit the movie perfectly. However, as a musical score on its own, it’s an abysmal failure. I listened to it on youtube and it was shudderingly jarring and I gave up before I got to the halfway mark. I will NOT be buying the cd of this sound track. Here’s the youtube embed so you can listen for yourself.

Since I got the bluray I also watched the extras. What few there were. While there were many in number, a lot of them simply repeated the same things or the same scenes over in a different way. There was no commentary track (something I tend to like) nor were there very many of the technical “making of” parts. There were a few bits and bobs of that stuff, but not anything close what I have come to expect from extras. There were no interviews with the cast, another thing I tend to enjoy.

Looking at this, it comes across as a check list of issues I had with the movie. The problem with that is that I really did enjoy the movie but it can be harder to write about what I enjoyed than what I didn’t. For instance, I thought Timothy Chalot was a great Paul. He was small and wiry and looked like a young adult and not just a small old person. The Bene Gesserit “Voice” was done wonderfully too. I liked how the ornithopters were portrayed. I’ve always imagined them as mechanical sparrows but the change to make them more like dragonflies than birds worked aesthetically. The little bit we see of the sandworms and how the sand acts around them fit perfectly too. There were enough “little” touches that I wouldn’t mind getting a directors cut some day 😀

My issues in watching this (and hence why I’ve watched it 3 times so far) is because it is VERY easy to mix up what I’m watching with the previous Dune screen incarnations. The 1984 David Lynch version was such an odd duck that you almost have to like it just for its weirdness but trying to keep track of what was from that movie and what was from the book gets intermingled in my mind. Then throw in the aforementioned SyFy mini-series and it’s sequel series, Children of Dune and suddenly, well, there is a TON of information to keep track of. What was original to this movie, or what came from the 1984 film or the Mini-series OR the book itself? I think it is a testament to Frank Herbert that Dune has inspired so many incarnations and that us fans continue to lap them up and give them a chance.

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and am very glad I bought the bluray. It is making me look forward to the sequel that much more. If you are tired of Super Hero movies but still need that bigger than this world feeling, Dune Part 1 might just fit the bill. If you liked the book, I think you’ll like this too. It IS an adaptation but one that I am quite glad has been realized. A solid thumbs up.

I realize this is a bit longer than my usual posts, so thanks for sticking it out to the end. Cheers!