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Title: Moby Bone
Series: Bone #13
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 22
Words: 1K

Synopsis:

From Boneville.fandom.com

Fone Bone is dreaming that he is in the position of Ishmael in Moby Dick. Phoney is turned into Captain Ahab, and a confused Fone Bone soon finds out that only he knows his identity in this dream. Ahab-Phoney soon spots Moby Dick (Smiley). In the chase to catch him, Fone Bone is thrown overboard and into the sea. Managing to grab onto a coffin, he calls for Phoney, a call that is not answered. Suddedly, a tidal wave appears, and Fone Bone sees the Great Red Dragon’s head in the wave.

Fone Bone wakes up and finds himself in an empty house. When he goes outside, he realizes that he overslept. Walking around, he meets up with Ted. Ted tells him it’s already the afternoon and asks him how his love poetry is doing. After panning his choice on a previous poem, Ted jumps off, and an irritated Fone Bone walks off to work on another. THIS poem almost gets spotted by Thorn as Fone Bone is writing (he quickly hides it before she can really see what it is) She asks him if he remembered his dream (the one that she saw him in while she was on watch duty). He recollected the dream in short fashion, then asked her if she had any dreams. She retold him her dream, also meantioned that him, or at least his face, was in the dream as well, and then left to continue with her work. Bashful Bone, however, didn’t notice this, and pulled out some flowers for her…only to find out that the DRAGON had taken her place. When asked about the dream Fone Bone had (that included his head), the Dragon merely meantioned that both Bone and Thorn’s dreams were intruded (the Dragon reveals that he purposely invaded Fone Bone’s dream by saying “Welcome aboard, Ishmael.”). At that, the Dragon walks off, leaving Bone to angrily stammer and finally tell/yell at the Dragon to stay out of his dreams, all the while wondering how the Dragon knew.

Two distractions aside, he continues on his poems…only to be spotted writing them by Smiley and Phoney, who, almost imediately, takes the poems and starts reading them. Phoney, at this time, thinks that Fone Bone is starting to look like “a drooling idiot” to Thorn…until Fone Bone reveals he hasn’t shown them to her. Then Phoney claims that Fone Bone is getting a little too obedient to them; Fone Bone says that Gran’ma Ben has been giving them a home and food; the LEAST they could do would be to help out with the chores. Phoney points out that Fone Bone hasn’t seen Smiley and Phoney drop what they’re doing everytime Thorn and Gran’ma Ben snap their fingers…right when a bell rings-the dinner bell, as Smiley and Phoney deem it as-and the two cousins run toward the noise, with Fone Bone trailing behind.

However, they found Gran’ma waitng behind the house for them; they weren’t going to be eating dinner yet, because the Bones were going to be making it. She sends Smiley with a pot to get some hot water and brings Fone Bone and Phoney to the chickens, where their job is to kill four chickens and dip them in the water that Smiley would bring back. At the mere mention of how they were going to kill them, they fainted, leaving Gran’ma to kill them herself, which she does, muttering to her self angrily, “City boys!”

My Thoughts:

This was actually a little scary as you realize that even dreams are now going to be a battleground.

The last page just made me laugh. Phoney and Fone are supposed to kill 4 chickens for dinner and Gran’ma Ben tells them they can wring their necks before cutting their heads off if they don’t want the chickens running around afterwards. So they faint. Gran’ma Ben’s reaction is literally picture perfect. I can imagine myself having this reaction too in the right circumstances.

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Title: Watch Duty
Series: Bone #12
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 30
Words: 1K

Synopsis:

From Boneville.fandom.com

Fone Bone is reading Moby Dick for Thorn when Miz Possum comes by. She talks with them a bit, and then gives Fone Bone some roof putty for fixing the roof(which he eats), and goes to check on her children. Thorn and Fone Bone walk back to the farm in order to get home before dark. Thorn dicusses some of her dreams with Fone Bone, stating that she’s almost afraid to go to sleep at night. They see Phoney and Smiley along the way, trying to create a romantic dinner for chickens so he can get eggs to pay off his debts.

Meanwhile, the Two Rat Creatures have been in hiding for four days, and the quiche loving one is getting twitchy. Soon after, the two are discovered by Kingdok. However, due to Kingdok’s dislike of the villagers, Gran’ma Ben, and (ESPECIALLY) the cow races, he lets them live and rewards them with preskinned rabbits, and they faint in relief (or shock). Thorn falls asleep during night duty. She dreams that she is in Deren Gard as a little girl. She goes outside into a garden with a flute, and The Hooded One appears. Suddenly turning into a grown, queenlike woman, Thorn looks around for The Hooded One, and sees him in the forest. When The Hooded One takes off the hood, it shows a face belonging to Fone Bone, and tells Thorn to come to him. Right before they make contact, Thorn wakes up. A confused Thorn watches as Fone Bone dreams violently.

My Thoughts:

While not every issue has been filled with deep meaning and complex content, this was really the first issue where it “felt” like a filler issue. There was a couple of pages dealing with the two rat creatures who were hiding from King Dok (the rat creature king) and it was as much a puff piece as anything.

I was amused by Phoney’s newest scheme. Just goes to show how out of his depth he is. Giving 2 chickens a romantic dinner so one will lay more eggs. Only Phoney Bone would think of something so stupid 😀

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Title: Lonely Road
Series: Bone #11
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 29
Words: 1K

Synopsis:

From Boneville.fandom.com

Phoney Bone and Smiley Bone are now forced to work off their debt by repairing Gran’ma Ben’s Farm and working for Lucius at the Barrelhaven Tavern. While in the woods Smiley sees something move in the bushes but Lucius couldn’t find anything so Gran’ma Ben tells them to be quiet until they get to the farm. Fone Bone looks around and sees the dragon watching them meaning they’re safe. Fone Bone falls asleep. Morning has come and The Two Rat Creatures are now hiding, fearing what their punishment might be for starting a ruckuss. Lucius and Gran’ma Ben discuss the situation. After their talk, everybody goes to sleep.

My Thoughts:

Phoney Bone was almost killed by the villagers but Gran’ma Ben and Lucius rescued him, and the other Bones. Gran’ma and Lucius both know the dragon and also seem to know something about Thorne. They aren’t sure if what is going on with the rat creatures and the Bones are connected to Thorne or not, so they decide to hold off telling anybody anything. That gets my goat. I realize they think they’re protecting Thorne from something, but they seem to ignore the fact that she’s old enough to know whatever the secret is. Very little good ever comes of hiding something from somebody.

Phoney Bone. Again. He totally deserves to be eaten by rat creatures, turned into a quiche if you will. I guess people like him show us just what mercy actually means. Mercy is for those who don’t deserve it and my goodness, if anyone ever deserved judgment, it’s Phoney. So I’ve taken to looking at him as an exercise for me to show mercy in a fictitious world so when I run across the real Phoney’s in the world I’m ready to be merciful to them too (instead of putting one right between their eyes and sending them on to their final judgment)

And on that cheery note I’ll close things out and wish you a wonderful day 🙂

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Title: The Great Cow Race
Series: Bone #10
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 29
Words: 1K

Synopsis:

From Boneville.fandom.com

Phoney’s plan suddenly goes wrong when Lucius bets the Barrelhaven Tavern on Gran’ma Ben to win. Knowing it will take ages to pay off that debt, Phoney lets Smiley know that he has to win but ends up in the cow suit with him. When Gran’ma Ben tries to get a good look at the Mystery Cow, they fall off the ridge they had been running on while trying to avoid her and land in a pack of sleeping Rat Creatures, who awake and begin to chase them. Fone Bone, who has now caught up, runs side by side with a startlingly cheerful Smiley, while Phoney wishes for his death. While they run the cows and Rat Creatures cross each other causing the race to fall into disaster, and Gran’ma Ben wins in the confusion.

My Thoughts:

Another “Stupid, stupid rat creatures!” moment. Loved it!

• All My “Bone” Reviews

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot, & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Mystery Cow
Series: Bone #9
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 28
Words: 1K

Synopsis:

From Boneville.fandom.com

Everybody now seems to be betting on the Mystery Cow instead of Gran’ma Ben, but Lucius talks to Wendell, Euclid, Johnathon Oaks, and Rory. They tell him about how that they are betting on the Mystery Cow instead of Gran’ma Ben, however Lucius tells them that Phoney Bone is playing them for a bunch of saps. They then demand that Phoney shows them the cow or they’ll take back their livestock and destroy his booth. When they go to see they hear a great deal of noise and racket, and are convinced they there is a monstrous cow inside. They head to the race, sure it will beat Gran’ma Ben. Meanwhile, Fone Bone meets Ted the Bug, who gives him advice on his romance with Thorn. Ted convinces Fone Bone to write love poems for Thorn. While he is making poems, the Two Rat Creatures attack him again, and he runs for his life.

My Thoughts:

Thorn gets jilted by Farmer Tom (Mr Muscles from the previous issue) as he explores the Fair with another dusky eyed woman. Thorn doesn’t seem too broken up about it though, so we’ll see if it has any lasting impact on the story.

Phoney. My goodness, I know I talk about him every issue but how has that guy survived this long? Of course, the group of people he’s shown to be scamming are a bunch of dimwits (Smith is such an urbanite and puts his ignorance about the country on display for all to see) and I can see them falling for Phoney’s line of bull. But some of these guys are BIIIIIG and I wonder that Phoney isn’t worried about one of them trying to take his head off with their fists after they realize they’ve been scammed.

Fone starts writing poetry out in the woods and it was as cliched as you could expect. Him getting kidnapped by the Stupid, Stupid Rat Creatures amusing though. The issue ends with a picture of the area Fone had been writing in abandoned and his letter lying on the ground.

I have to admit, I’m in NO rush to get to the next issue. Part of that may be because I’ve read the whole series already and kind of know where things are going, but really, since I read this back in ’07 I’ve forgotten whole swathes of the plot and reading it this way (issue by issue instead of in one giant gulp) is like reading it for the first time all over again. Knowing that it is ended also helps curb any impatience I might have otherwise felt. This is not an action oriented series (unlike the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) and so the slow pace I’m reading it at fits perfectly. I am on a slow boat to Boneville and am enjoying the scenery on the shore while drifting lazily down the river.

• All My “Bone” Reviews

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot, & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Cave
Series: Bone #8
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 28
Words: 1K

Synopsis:

From Boneville.fandom.com

At the betting booth (which Phoney made himself), Phoney Bone convinces Euclid to bet one goat on the Mystery Cow (which is actually Smiley in a costume) instead of three shovels. Fone Bone arrives and questions Phoney about the rat creatures attacking Gran’ma Ben’s Farm. Phoney claims he has no idea why they did so but Fone Bone refuses to believe him. Smiley Bone has also arrived and has a unconvincing cow suit. Later at night, Thorn has a dream about her as a young child in the dragon’s cave. Right after she wakes up Fone Bone and tells him not to wake the others. She tells Fone Bone that she used to have this dream as a little girl, but it eventually stopped. After Fone Bone showed her the map she started having the dreams again, and she also claims that she drew the map. They decide to tell Gran’ma Ben about all this after this after the race, so she isn’t stressed out before the race.

My Thoughts:

The mystery thickens! Much like a gravy sauce in fact. We find out Thorn has been having dreams about the map that led the Bones into the forest and she thinks she is the one who drew it. We get hints that not only does Gran’ma Ben know the red dragon but that there is a whole slew of dragons that Thorn met as a little girl. Whom she was dropped off into by a mysterious robed stranger. I’m getting serious lost princess vibes here.

Phoney starts up a betting booth and is pushing everyone he can towards the Mystery Cow, which is just going to be Smiley in a homemade cow costume. Why Phoney thinks he is going to get away with this is beyond me. Considering how his antics got the Bones run out of Boneville, it’s very evident he hasn’t learned his lesson, not even one bit. The problem is that Fone and Smiley keep enabling him. What they need to do is leave him alone and let some villagers kill Phoney when he tries one of his scams on them. They won’t do that though so the scams keep on happening.

The issue ends with Fone advising Thorn to wake up Gran’ma Ben and talk about the map and her dreams. Thorn wants to defer it until after the cow race tomorrow. So you know something BAAAAD is going to happen because of that delay. It’s just like those horror movies where the kids hide in a shed filled with farm implements. Worst idea ever that never turns out well.

Reading this so slowly feels like I am getting a drip feed. At the same time, it is helping me to slow down and not gulp the whole story. While I might not remember a lot of details in 10 years, I am paying attention now, which wouldn’t happen if I was reading the Complete One Volume Bone like I did before. I’d liken it to sitting in a garden and watching Bob Ross paint his little broccoli trees.

• All My “Bone” Reviews

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot, & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Spring Fair
Series: Bone #7
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 28
Words: 1K

Synopsis:

From Boneville.fandom.com

The book starts off with Fone Bone and Thorn walking around the fair. Thorn wants to go get some honey and they find a honeyseller named Tom. Tom flirts with Thorn, upsetting Fone Bone. Fone Bone lashes out at Tom, acting in a way that Thorn had never seen before. After a few cruel insults from Tom and ruder comebacks from Fone Bone, Thorn (feeling embarrassed) decides to walk around the fair herself. Fone Bone decides to get honey for Thorn from a giant beehive to try to show that she doesn’t need a jerk like Tom to get her honey. He finds a gigantic bee defending the hive, who was not affected by the smoke that was supposed to make it fall asleep. In fact, the bee thinks it is a cigar and begins to smoke it. After being stung by the bee, Fone Bone manages to get a giant honeycomb only to find Thorn chatting under a tree with Tom. Meanwhile Phoney Bone and Smiley Bone are planing their scam by getting out the word that Gran’ma Ben is to old to win the race. Gran’ma Ben is jogging for her training and notices that people are not betting on her like they normally do and starts feeling down.

My Thoughts:

With Phoney spreading rumors that Gran’ma Ben isn’t up to snuff, by the end it is easy to see that it is affecting her, hearing that people don’t believe in her any more. While people can defy expectations, many a time they live up to, or down to as the case may be, the expectations set by others. I’d like to believe that Smith is delving deep here, but I’m not sure and wouldn’t be surprised if it’s just a plot device. It does show that Phoney is probably going to lose (as he’s betting everything on Gran’ma Ben) and as such he’ll do yet another stupid thing that will hurt a lot of people. I think that’s the reason I am beginning to dislike Phoney, no matter how colorful he is, he hurts people without caring that he does, even when he knows he is hurting them.

This is also a time for Fone to realize that Thorn isn’t in love with him, as she’s so cavalier about him leaving in a few weeks. Her interacting with Farm Boy McMuscles doesn’t help the situation any either. It got me to thinking, what do female Bones look like? Do they wear sexy negligees? ARE there female Bones? And if not, where do little Bones come from? The Bone Stork? I bet Smith didn’t imagine his lack of detail about the greater society of Bones would have ramifications like this!

I have to admit, I am not a fan of Thorn taking up with Farmer Boy McMuscles. Not that I really want her and Fone to become more than friends, but McMuscles just seems a bit off to me. We’ll have to see what happens in the future. I did find it amusing when Fone and McMuscles started posturing. Jeff Smith really lets loose with the comedy that is inherent in comics. Here’s the picture:

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Title: Phoney’s Inferno
Series: Bone #6
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 28
Words: 1K

Synopsis:

From Boneville.fandom.com

Fone Bone, Thorn, and The Great Red Dragon find Gran’ma Ben alive. Upon seeing the dragon, Gran’ma Ben isn’t as surprised as Thorn is, they both greet admitting that it’s been awhile and leaves. Phoney Bone now has to work for Lucius to pay off his debt since they don’t use money here and while he plans his scam to get rich, he is visited by The Hooded One who claims that he wants his soul (and the death of Fone Bone, because he woke up the Great Red Dragon). Fone Bone, Thorn and Gran’ma Ben arrive at Barrelhaven. Fone Bone finds Phoney and Smiley and the three cousins are reunited at last (although Fone Bone begins to strangle Phoney after tricking him).

My Thoughts:

As has been hinted at in the earlier issues, Gran’ma Ben is more than meets the eye. Not only does she survive the rat attack, but when Fone and Thorn “introduce” the dragon to her, it’s quite apparent that they already know each other and that she’s not impressed by it. Whatever the “Big War” she mentioned obviously had its heroes back in the day and my bet is that Gran’ma Ben was one of them.

It is ALSO quite apparent that Phoney made some sort of deal with the Hooded One, who has now come to collect. That piqued my curiosity, as it really comes out of nowhere. I’m looking forward to how Smith fleshes out that aspect of the story. Of course, it fits perfectly that Phoney would make a deal to sell his soul and then try to renege on it.

One thing that is quite apparent is that Fone Bone, while ostensibly the main character, is actually more of a vehicle for the reader to piggyback on than an actual character. Both Phoney and Smiley have clothes and characteristics that set them apart, while Fone is just a small Bone character, clothesless and while not characterless, not very inspiring. It could become bothersome so I’m going to try to remember that Fone Bone is the mouthpiece of Smith and not some sort of Conan character.

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This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot, & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Barrelhaven
Series: Bone #5
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 28
Words: 1K

Synopsis:

From Boneville.fandom.com

The rat creature surround the farmhouse and Gran’ma Ben tells Fone Bone and Thorn to run while she fights off the rat creatures. While running the two get surrounded by rat creatures and Fone Bone calls out for The Great Red Dragon’s help. The dragon appears and chases the army away. The dragon returns Fone Bone and Thorn to the farmhouse to find it destroyed. Phoney Bone arrives at the Barrelhaven Tavern and finds Smiley Bone who is working there as a bartender. He also meets Lucius Down, the owner of the tavern and gets on his bad side as well. Phoney learns that they don’t use money here, meaning that he has to work at the tavern to pay of his debt.

My Thoughts:

Man, Phoney Bone just can’t seem to keep his mouth shut or to stay out of trouble. 10 minutes in the tavern and he’s already a problem child. It makes me wonder how he got so rich in the first place! He’s not that clever, just more clever than either of his cousins. Which isn’t saying much, hahahahaa!

Gran’ma Ben reveals a side that while not unexpected (she does race cows and wins after all), isn’t what you’d expect. Busting through her own walls, throttling the rat creatures and saying how she’d be just fine because she fought in the “Big War”. There is history to this valley that none of the Bone’s are aware of nor does it seem like Thorn is either. The dragon reveals himself fully to Thorn in rescuing Fone and in the process reveals that there is some sort of agreement between him and Kingdok (the king of the rat creatures), probably going back to said “Big War”.

With just a few phrases, Smith has given the readers clues that this valley is not just an idyllic place that the Bones have stumbled into and brought trouble with them. Trouble has already been here and beaten back. What is amazing is the fact that he just used a few phrases. He isn’t spending the next 6 issues fleshing out the history and telling us every single detail and removing our chance to use our imagination. But he doesn’t leave the past alone either. It’s a fine line to walk (a line which Spawn failed miserably at) and I think he does an admirable job of balancing it all.

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