Joly Jalapenos, Tabasco Man!

In November, I was the unwelcome recipient of 1500 spam comments. I had emptied my trash at the beginning of the month, and as you can see in the picture below, that is what has accumulated over the bleeding month. I realize the picture is a little small, but that is a 1.5K that the star is around.

99.9% of it is that bloody spanish spam bot asking to login. Whoever created that is going to burn in hell! but don’t worry, they’ll be right next to the person who created automated robocalls at 9pm. Grrrrrrr.

Thanks. Just needed to vent for a second there. * deep breath * I am relaxed and in control. Psychic Grandma is not haunting me. I will win the lottery next week. Ommmmmmmmmmmmm

Of course, relaxed or not, if I ever meet the person who created that bot, their face is going to meet my T200 Iron quicker than you can spit.

This sounds like a job for …. Tabasco Man! With his ultra-secure condiment belt, hotsauce is within reach at a moment’s notice. Cayenne pepper is going straight into the eyes of that bot’s creator! Stick a couple of spatulas up their nose and then pull their tongue out with the salad tongues. No longer do us solid, dependable citizens of the blogosphere need fear the Spanish Spam Bot! Hurray for Tabasco Man, My Hero!

Just to clear, I am NOT Tabasco Man. He might just be the most dashing, the most intelligent, the most handsome and buffest hero the world has ever known, but that in no ways means he is me. It is simply a coincidence that all those descriptions fit both of us. On Psychic Grandma’s honor….

[Masters of Ironing] Soothing the Savage Beast

It has been said that music can tame the savage beast, without or within. Probably whoever said that was famous and wouldn’t know a savage beast if it bit them on the backside. Here at Masters of Ironing, we know better.

Let put this “hypothetical” question to you. If you were running through the Streets of Amsterdam and a lion was chasing you, would you rather have a tiny little flute in your hand or piping hot 5lb iron, preferably the good old T200 version?

Remember the Old Wise Ironing Adage: “A hot iron in hand is worth two lions in the bush“.

Forget not this precept my children and you will live a long and prosperous life.

To Iron or Not To Iron, That is NOT the Question!

For today’s Inspirational Ironing from the Heart, we will look into something that almost all Ironing Novices and even many Masters, forget.

In the opening picture Kenneth Branagh is making Hamlet’s famous speech “Alas, Poor Iron, I knew it well!” As you can see, back in Shakespeare’s day they didn’t even have the technology for a T200 Iron. The poor souls. But did that stop them from ironing? Do you really think Shakespeare showed up to the Globe without having had his minions carefully press his doublet and pantaloons? They just had to get creative with what they used, like a skull for instance. Heat that baby up and you have yourself a nice, organic, renewable, reusable iron. I’d say Shakespeare was ahead of his day in terms of recycling!

What Shakespeare knew, but didn’t share because he was a git, was that a True Master of Ironing doesn’t even need an iron. A True Master of Ironing has no use for an iron, not even the venerable and much venerated T200.

Simply think it and thus it will be. As Grand Master Yoda states:

For my ally is the Iron, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Iron around you; here, between you, me, the cupboard, the garage, everywhere, yes. Even between the ironing board and the clothes.

While there are more Irons in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in our Philosophy, dear reader, remember, There Are No Irons. This true saying will keep you on the path of a Master of Ironing and from straying into the dark realms of Cool Ironing, Beware the Cool Side!